blufemmedic:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

So that’s why I keep trying to sneak into people’s houses.

potential-and-difference:

prop-215:

dazegetbrighter:

what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?

How stoned are you right now?

Was that a fucking pun?

thepensivebrony:

“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

sardonicheight:

[[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]